


Don't Tell Me Yet.

by coldishcase



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s04e15-16 Family Reunion – and Farewell, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29638200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldishcase/pseuds/coldishcase
Summary: In the wake of Kanan's death, Zeb finally gets the courage to tell Kallus how he really feels about him.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	Don't Tell Me Yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm like 3 years late to Rebels and to this ship, but I just finished the entire show in one week and I have _feelings_ about kalluzeb (and kanera) so please accept this un-betad little fic.

* * *

**•*.●|° { Z E B } °|●.*•**

* * *

They did it. They really did it.

Hera made it in to rescue them with reinforcements at the 11th hour, and they beat Governor Pryce and her men.

Finally, a moment to breathe.

Zeb... wasn't sure if Kallus would join the rescue. He knows Draven has had him busy on Yavin IV, and beyond that, his injuries during the battle of Chopper Base (refracturing his bad leg and a couple broken ribs) left him with a perpetual limp and some trouble breathing. Thrawn really did a number on him, so he's mostly stayed off the physically-intense missions. (Much to Alex's own chagrin.)

So, he wasn't sure if Kallus would join them. He asked Hera to ask him...

But it wasn't a guarantee. He might have even been off on another mission already. He saw them off for their initial entry to Lothal, but there's no guarantee he stayed with the clones to keep an eye on the Ghost.

So when Kallus dive-rolled off the Ghost along with Rex, Gregor, and Wolffe... Zeb had breathed a quiet sigh of relief. 

Kallus came for them. For him.

With backup, they made quick work of the imps, Kallus instantly making it to his side and fighting right alongside him. They didn't have time for so much as a "hello", but the nearness was enough for Zeb to know Kallus was worried for him, that he was glad to see him.

It had to be enough for now.

Zeb is glad he came. This might be the riskiest thing they've ever done, and he wouldn't feel right going into a fight he might not come out of without telling Kallus how he feels.

The loss of Kanan is still fresh in his mind... he's seen how hard it's been on Hera, how she regrets the time she wasted with him...

If this thing goes sideways, well. He doesn't wanna waste any more time with Kallus than he already has. He knows what he wants, and he wants Alexsandr Kallus, Ashla save him...

He just hopes that he hasn't misread anything. But it's too late for second-guessing now.

"Kal," he says softly. The storm troopers have surrendered and Ezra is dealing with Pryce. They have a moment to breathe, to talk.

"Garazeb," Kallus returns, his tone clipped and professional, but with an underlying warmth that Zeb only hears when the man says his full name. The ex-ISB agent looks him over quickly. "I'm glad you're alright. I worried... Hera said you asked for me, but not why."

Zeb can't help the warmth that fills his chest. So Kallus really did come for him. Because he asked.

He also can't help the toothy smile that makes it's way onto his face. "Jus' didn't want ya to miss out on the fun. You got a minute?"

Kallus looks around to make sure the other rebels have this handled. They clearly do, so he lowers the blaster he is carrying. "As long as you don't think we'll be missed."

"They'll be fine," Zeb assures him, putting away his borifle for the moment. "Come with me."

And Kallus does, holstering his blaster and not asking any questions. No hesitation. It emboldens Zeb, knowing that the man is willing to follow him if only he asks.

Hells, he came here just because he asked him to.

Sabine shoots a look their way, but doesn't say anything, just giving Zeb a nod and moving to fill the gap they're leaving behind. 

They don't go far. Zeb only wants some privacy, it ain't that hard to find when everyone else is occupied and the cliffs have plenty of curves to conceal them. 

"Lothal is beautiful from up here," Kallus breaks the silence, overlooking the plains. He's right; the fields look nearly painted from this far up. They're lovely, made up of soft, pastel brushstrokes.

Still, Zeb isn't really looking at the plains. He has eyes for something else.

Kallus looks up to face him, and there's something knowing in his eyes as he meets Zeb's gaze. As if he's already figured out what he's thinking. "But I'm guessing you didn't bring me over here to admire the view."

"No," Zeb confirms, taking a step closer. What he wants to say could heal or ruin them... so he thinks it's understandable that he hesitates.

Kallus is patient. He has been for as long as Zeb's known him. Once, that calculated patience was deadly, nearly brought them down more than once. Now, it's a comfort, knowing that he won't be pushed for words he isn't ready to say.

He is ready to say them, though. And he needs to.

"Garazeb," Kallus breaks his line of thought, his full name rolling off his tongue. Only Kallus calls him that, just like only he calls Kallus 'Kal'. Other people call him Alex, or Alexsandr, or Lex, but Kal is just for Zeb, and Garazeb is just for Kallus.

He's distracted. Kal isn't done talking yet. "I... heard about Kanan. Are you..." he hesitates, seen to think better of asking that question, and rephrases. "Do you need anything?"

Zeb almost laughs. Yeah, he does.

He needs this war to be over, needs the Empire to be gone, needs his family to be safe-- needs _Kal_ to be safe.

But Kal can't make any of that happen, no more than Zeb himself can. Freedom isn't won by magic, it's won by hope, dedication, and sacrifice.

Rather than answer right away, Zeb reaches out for one of Kal's shoulders. When he doesn’t shy away from the touch, Zeb pulls him in for a tight hug, and Kallus lets him.

"I just need you right here, Kal." He answers, and it's true enough. 

The former Imperial relaxes into his hold, carefully wrapping his arms around him as well. "I'm here," he answers quietly, some unknown emotion straining his words. 

They stay like that for a moment, words escaping them, but taking refuge in the security of each others' presence.

"I wish I'd been here," Kallus finally says, "I should have been."

"You couldn't," Zeb reassures him. They'd considered bringing him; he certainly wanted to be part of the liberation of Lothal... but their entry plan relied on none of them being recognized. Kallus is too well-known amongst the imperials here, even in disguise he would have likely been recognized by one of his former peers. The clones stayed behind with the Ghost for the same reason.

Kal couldn't have joined them on Lothal until they found another way onto the planet. Zeb is just glad that he didn't let Draven give him another mission until this one had been seen through to the end.

Zeb closes his eyes, pressinghis face against Kal's lengthy, soft hair. "You're here now, that's what matters. You couldn't've changed anything anyways... none of us could."

"I know but..." Kallus sighs, sounding a bit defeated. "I hate thinking of you being alone for that."

"I wasn't," Zeb assures him again, smiling a little at the admission of his worry. "I had my family here. 'N like I said. You're here now."

Kallus gives him a small nod, finally pulling away from the embrace. He doesn't move back far, just enough to look up and see his face. "I am. Did you... have something you wanted to tell me?"

Yeah, Kal definitely has him figured out.

Zeb rubs the back of his neck, standing up taller. He doesn't quite look at Kallus, instead letting his eyes drift towards the horizon, finding the point where the sky and land meet. Complete opposites, and yet they come together to make something beautiful. Hopefully he and Kallus aren't much different than that horizon.

"Yeah, I do." He answers after a second, gathering his courage. Give him a blaster and some imps and he has no problem running headlong into danger. But telling Kallus how he feels? Now, _that's_ scary.

A hand touches his forearm, drawing his eyes there. Kallus is patient, saying nothing to push him. The touch is a reassurance, something soothing to just remind Zeb of his presence.

It works. Zeb takes a deep breath, putting his thoughts together as he starts to speak. "I... care about you, a lot." That's not even the half of it, but it's a start. "I know we've had our... differences," yet another understatement, "but I know what I want, Kal. And this could be our last fight together-"

"-don't say that," Kallus interrupts, his hand tightening on Zeb's arm. His voice is thick with emotion. "Don't-"

"I have to," Zeb insists, cutting him off. He brings his large hands up, cupping the human's face within them. He can feel Kal's mutton chops underneath his palms, nearly as soft and thick as his own fur. "I have to, because... because, look at all this, Kal. We have almost nothing left. Ezra's plan... I trust the kid, but this is crazy. It's desperate. We're out of options and out of time, Kal. If we don't win this, if things go wrong, we're done. We lose everything. And... and if this is the last chance I get to see you, whatever happens... I don't wanna go into this fight with any regrets."

He can hear it when Kallus swallows, he can see the way his throat ripples with the action. The amber of his eyes shines, shimmery with wetness, close to but not quite tearing up. "Neither do I," he says, quiet yet fervent. "But Zeb... you're wrong. We have a lot more than nothing. We have each other, and we have something the Empire could never have--; a reason to fight, something to fight _for_. We have hope," he continues. Spoken like a true rebel, Zeb thinks fondly.

"You showed me that," Kallus continues, one hand coming up to cover Zeb's on his cheek. "You gave me hope, put me on a path towards something better... gave me something real, tangible to fight for. I believe in the Rebellion, Zeb. And that's because of you. You and your family, but mostly you." It's the truth. Kallus has never said it so bluntly before... but Zeb had his suspicions. It's nice to have them confirmed.

Kallus takes a second to close his eyes, gathering himself. "I know it seems bleak right now... but you can't give up hope, Garazeb. We will win today. We'll show the Empire what we're made of. We will take back Lothal, and _then_ you can finish telling me what you want to say."

"Kal-"

"No." Kallus responds firmly, his eyes bright with determination. "You don't get to give up. I don't want you to say it when it sounds like a goodbye. Save it for after we've won, Garazeb."

Zeb feels a strange mixture of pride and love and aching sadness in his chest. But he respects Kallus's wishes, letting it go for now.

If Kal, who never believed in their cause before becoming a rebel, can turn around so completely and have utter faith in them even now...

Well, then Zeb supposes he can have a little more hope for them too.

"Can I at least kiss you?" Zeb finds himself asking, no longer afraid that Kallus doesn't feel the same way about him.

The question makes Kal smile, such a rare but nice thing to see. It makes him look years younger, softer, less battle-hardened and beaten down.

"For luck," he permits, drawing in closer. 

There's a moment where they both move in, with different intentions. Zeb goes to press his cheek against Kallus's, while Kallus goes to press their lips together, and they end up achieving neither one and bumping their faces together a little awkwardly. 

They seem to realize the miscommunication at the same time, and their embarrassed but genuine laughter mingles together as they draw back a bit to see one another.

Kal gets ahold of himself first, smiling up at Zeb with so much fondness in his eyes. "Your way first, then mine?"

"Sounds like a plan," Zeb agrees easily, not waiting to pull Kallus in close. He presses his furred cheek to Kallus's, pleased with the way his facial hair almost mimics a Lasat's. He doesn't have scent glands of his own, but it's good enough to know that his partner's 'fur' will hold _his_ scent all the same.

Kallus hums at the feeling, letting Zeb show him what to do with one cheek, then reciprocating when he switches to the other cheek, matching his movements and leaning into the contact.

He's a quick learner, his actions earning a soft purr from Zeb before he pulls back, satisfied that Kallus now smells like him-- to anyone with a sharp enough nose to identify by scent.

Before Zeb can even properly pull back, Kallus is pulling him down again.

"My turn," is the only warning he gets before plush lips press against his, Kallus's arms wrapping around his shoulders to hold him there as they kiss the human way.

It's not something Zeb has done often, but it's not unpleasant either. Strange, but he can see the appeal as well.

He settles into the press against his partner, feeling Kal's smile as they linger like that for a few moments.

Zeb's ear flicks as he hears the sound of movement off to their right--

And it's too late to pull apart and save their privacy. Someone whoops, and Chopper chirps excitedly.

Kal jumps in surprise, knocking their noses together before they hastily part ways.

Zeb is fine, while Kallus has a hand over his face, rubbing his sore nose. "Er-"

Zeb shoots a glare at their peeping toms. "Oi, what'sa matter with you lot?"

Ezra is there, along with Sabine, Chopper, Governor Ryder, Hera, Rex, and soon-to-be former governor Pryce. They had... quite a bit larger audience than they thought. 

Most of them seem happy for them, with the one exception of Pryce, who looks disgusted.

"Uh," Ezra starts, looking a little guilty but pleased all the same. "I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"-I _told_ you you shouldn't bother them," Sabine sing-songs in her best know-it-all tone.

Pryce makes a noise of distaste. "Really, Agent Kallus, is this oaf why you defected? How... Deplorable."

Kallus moves, and Zeb reaches out just in time to stop him from going any further. His hands are in fists, and Pryce flinches back from only the look in his eyes.

Any other day, Zeb would let him have a go at her and sit back to enjoy the show. But today, he's in a good mood, and they can't afford to have her incapacitated. 

"She ain't worth it, Kal," he tells his partner, and something in his tone soothes Kallus' temper.

Kal backs off, but if glares could kill, Pryce would be dead multiple times over. His partner isn't the only one who shoots her a look with near-murderous intent.

Rex coughs, and Ezra gets back to his explanation. "Anyways, uh, Zeb, Hera and Sabine need your help loading up the ghost. Kallus, I was hoping you and Ryder could keep an eye on Pryce for me?"

"It would be my pleasure, Jabba." Kallus responds, more than a little menacingly. Pryce certainly looks to be regretting her words already. 

"It's _Ezra_ ," the young jedi reminds him with a roll of his eyes.

"I know," Kallus responds in a teasing tone.

Zeb just watches, warmth and amusement playing in his chest. By the Ashla, he loves his mix-matched little family.

"Garazeb," Kallus gets his attention, then uses his hand on his shoulder to tug him down just enough to kiss his cheek. The sensation leaves his fur with a pleasant tingle, making him smile down at his partner.

"Go on, Captain Orellios."

Zeb gives a soft snort at the use of his rank. "Don't have too much fun without me, Captain Kallus."

"Rest assured that I will not," Kal tells him, shooting Governor Pryce a sidelong glance. She looks like she's trying not to gag. Zeb hopes Kallus and Ryder give her some hell.

He and his crew leave to prep the Ghost and the imperial transport ships, leaving Kallus and Ryder behind to watch their prisoner.

* * *

**•*.●|° { K A L L U S }** °|●.*•

* * *

  
"You disgust me, traitor."

Kallus sighs internally. He'd done his best to mostly ignore her, knowing that Pryce was needed for this plan to work. It's not the first time she's tried to goad him into retaliation.

As a former ISB Agent, he's not about to fall for the obvious ploy while it's just him and Ryder watching her. He's used it himself on a few occasions-- rile up your captor until they make a mistake. In fact, it's the same tactic he used on the Chimera in order to get her to send him back to his cell, giving him the opening he needed to escape the flagship.

She's getting bolder now, spitting insults at him in a last-ditch attempt. The ships are nearly ready, so they've been called back up to the platform.

It may be the last chance he gets to cross wits with her, so he decides to play her game, just a little. "The day I betrayed your Empire, Governor, is the day I finally stopped betraying myself."

And it's the truth, no matter what she thinks of it. She can roll her eyes at him, but he's done lying, especially to himself.

So much of himself had to be... censored... while working for the Empire. Not only his romantic preferences, seeing as the Empire frowns upon both homosexuality and interspecies relationships... but so many other things, too. His drive for honor and justice, perpetually twisted for the sake of blind obedience disguised as 'loyalty'. He wanted order and peace, but was ordered to subjugate people instead. 

So many horrors, so many terrified faces, so many atrocities committed by his hands. They kept him up at night, even before he defected. He always comforted himself with the Empire's lies; that there was some greater good, some galaxy-wide Era of peace and prosperity he was working towards.

But the truth is far uglier. Sometimes he wishes he'd never followed Zeb's advice and looked into his many questions. Ignorance was so much easier.

But Kallus has never wanted the easy path, and he doesn't regret his decision to search for answers. His past still keeps him up at night, but now he wakes up from those nightmares knowing that he's on the right side. Knowing that, with absolute certainty, he's working towards the end of the soulless Empire which brainwashed and used him to their own horrific and selfish ends.

It's getting easier every day to get up and keep going. As Fulcrum, he could do more to directly wreak havoc on the Empire... but he was isolated, and in order to keep his cover, he could do so little to help when given direct orders.

Now, his role feels smaller, but he is surrounded by other rebels; by vibrant and good-hearted people who are gradually becoming his friends and family. He can openly fight the tyranny of the Empire, and he can wake up each day knowing that he isn't alone, and that he is a part of something greater than himself.

He's never had to follow an order without question, and he's mostly just been sent on recon and relief missions, at his preference. Lothal is a personal matter; he feels responsible for helping win it back, so in this instance he doesn't mind being brought on a mission where he's required to fight and kill.

But outside this planet... he isn’t sure when, but he knows he isn't ready yet to be sent on any kill or capture missions. He doesn't trust his judgment yet, and thankfully, that's fine with the Rebellion's higher ups. He's more use to them now as an intelligence agent, a sometimes-consultant, and a spy.

Each day, he feels further from 'ISB Agent Kallus', and closer to 'Rebel Captain K. Alexsandr'

"You've given up years of service, a promising career, prestige, for what?" Pryce pauses her tyrade, a chance for her to guage his reaction disguised as a hold for effect. "To join a band of _failures_ who don't stand a chance."

She's wrong, but Kallus doesn't need to say it. Ezra joins them then, speaking up to answer her. " _I_ think we do."

Kallus heartily agrees. He's lost to this band of Rebels enough times to know they shouldn't be underestimated. They're tough, resourceful, and a hell of a lot more invested in Lothal than the Empire will ever be.

He lets Ezra take over, standing back to watch as the kid deals with Pryce.

Watching the Wolf bear down on her is entertaining in its own right-- he is a bit disappointed when it doesn't bite her head off, but at least they have her cooperation. 

He and Chopper might have been able to dig up the right codes without her, but it would have been significantly harder to do.

This saves them time, which is their most valuable resource at present.

  
°|●.*•

  
The imperial uniform they stole for him is a bit tight, but he doesn't complain. Zeb says he liked his old uniform better, and Kallus has to agree with that. This helmet and all the black doesn't do him any favors.

At least the ISB uniform had armor. 

He says as much, and the three nearby clones snort their disagreement, then Rex once again subjects him to a lecture on how superior the clone wars armor was to the flimsy garbage that the Empire outfits their soldiers with.

It's better to just wait it out than argue. 

  
°|●.*•

Everything went sideways when Thrawn showed up over the city-- but that's nothing new for them. They roll with the punches, they find another way.

Kallus is just glad that when they go to get the reactors back online, he can stay by Zeb. After that speech earlier, he doesn’t trust the big purple idiot to be out of his sight for long. 

  
°|●.*•

  
"Even with that bridge extended, there's just too many of them! We'll have to do something drastic."

Gregor is right, and Kallus has his mind working on overdrive, looking for any sane solution to their predicament. There aren't many options, and it's hard to think of a plan while taking heavy fire.

"Alright, I'll do it!"

That's Zeb's voice, and--

Oh no.

" _Zeb_ -!"

Ice runs down Kallus's back as the Lasat runs past him, just a hair too fast for his outstretched arm to stop him. " _Don't_!" He shouts, but it's useless, Zeb is already soaring through the air, having launched himself towards the attackers on the lower platform.

He watches to make sure Zeb lands safely, heaving a small sigh of relief when he sees his partner reach his target without getting hit. He goes tumbling off the edge with the other creature, but it isn't a long fall.

"He's crazy!" Gregor exclaims from behind him, making Kallus internally roll his eyes.

"Well, it was your idea, come on, let's go!" No sense in wasting the opening Zeb gave them. He just hopes he can get the shields up before anything bad happens to his- his-

-to the being he loves.

  
°|●.*•

  
Out of time, out of time.

"Guys, it's now or never," says Sabine's voice over their comlinks.

"Now!" Ketsu says as she gets the power back on.

It's just up to him. Everything is ready, he just has to turn the generators on...

"Zeb!?" He calls, trying and failing not to let his panic show in his voice. He still hasn't come up from the generators, where he fell with that thing.

If he turns them on now, and Zeb is still down there...

No, no... he can't have another Lasat's blood on his hands, and not when they haven't-- not when they just--

"Don't wait on me!" Zeb calls up, without the use of his comm.

Not a good sign-- but he can't wait. The shields have to go up _now_ , or hundreds of innocent lives on the streets of Lothal might be lost.

With a silent prayer to whoever might be listening--Force, Ashla, anything really-- Kallus punches the generators on, shutting his eyes in fear of what may or may not come next.

The crackling of electricity fills the room, and he hears high pitched, inhuman screeching--

His heart sinks until he hears Zeb's voice, taunting Thrawn over his failure.

It's like a wave of relief hits him, and he sinks to his knees by the console, nearly knocked down by his gratitude for the answered prayer.

  
°|●.*•

  
It's... over.

It was a mad dash to get up on top of the ship, where the Ghost can pick them up, but they made it.

They made it off, and the Dome is launching itself high into the sky, away from the City.

Zeb sweeps him up at the first opportunity, dragging him up a ladder to the top guns. There's barely enough space for the both of them-- meaning Kallus has to awkwardly maneuver himself onto Zeb's lap just so they fit.

"Garazeb--" he protests as he's dragged up into the small space, even as he cooperates to make it work.

Zeb cuts him off with a press of their lips together. "Shut up 'n watch the fireworks, would ya?"

Fireworks?

He turns his head and-- oh.

The Dome gets far enough away from the city, and Sabine must have initiated the self destruct, because...

Wow.

He watches, wide-eyed as the entire, massive base station blows up, different sections at a time. Debris falls as if in slow-motion, clouds of smoke billowing off the massive ship.

Now he sees why Zeb brought him up here. They have quite the view of it.

Zeb winds an arm around him, holding the former Imperial close as they watch the Dome go up in flames. It's cathartic, in a way. That was, at one point, his home. And now he has contributed to its destruction.

"Can I say what I wanted to say now?" Zeb asks, a smile present in his voice.

They're close enough now that it's an easy thing to press their cheeks together, idly resting his head against Zeb's. The Lasat doesn't seem to mind it at all, a quiet purr vibrating in his chest.

"Not until you apologize," Kallus responds, only half-serious.

"For?"

He scoffs, twisting around so he can give Zeb a good elbow to his side. The indignant 'oof' is gratifying. "Don't wait on me?" He quotes Zeb incredulously. "What, were you trying to give me a heart attack? What kind of stunt was that anyways, diving into the generators?"

Zeb gives a rumble of laughter, rubbing his cheek against Kallus's in earnest, a mixture of affection and apology in his movements. "Hey, it worked, dinnit? And we're all safe now."

All of them but Gregor and Ezra.

The thought makes Kallus turn himself, wrapping his arms around Zeb tight, just wanting to be close to him, to hear his heart beating.

Zeb hugs him back, rubbing his back in a soothing way. "Hey, I'm sorry I scared ya. I ain't going nowhere."

"Better not," Kallus threatens, but there's no real bite in his voice. "I love you, Garazeb Orellios."

"Hey-" Zeb protests a little petulantly, "you were supposed to wait for me to say it."

Kallus can only give him a somewhat wet laugh in return. "Better catch up then."

The Lasat grumbles good-naturedly, pulling him in a bit closer. "Love you too, Kal. Bastard that you are."

"Smelly brute," Kallus fires back affectionately. 

"Snob," Zeb sniffs teasingly. 

Kallus threads his finger through the thick fur of Zeb's chest. "Rebel scum."

That gets a chuckle out of Zeb, breaking their chain. "Hey, you tossed your lot in with rebel scum like us."

"And I haven't looked back," Kallus assures him, relaxing against his soft, warm body. He looks over Zeb's shoulder, seeing how low the doms has fallen in the sky. "Fireworks are over, love. We should rejoin the others."

"Give it a minute," Zeb responds, a contented purr leaving him. "I'm comfy."

Kallus hums in agreement. "Me too."

And so they watch the last of the Empire's ships on Lothal fall, crashing far off into the distance.

They'll have to fight to keep this, they both know... but for now, they can rest easy knowing that they've ended an Era, and are beginning a new age of hard-won freedom on Lothal.

They'll handle whatever's next as it comes. 

Together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'd love to know what you thought, comments are highly appreciated! You can also hit me up on my tumblr, [@coldishcasecreates](www.coldishcasecreates.tumblr.com)


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